Clash of the Titans

Again, before I start, this is what I think. Not what you think I should think. Or what I thought you think I should think if you thought I'd think you thought I think.

I saw it coming. I was in denial at first but I came to realize that resistance is futile. David Cook won American Idol Season 7. I hate everyone.

ARGH.

Everytime I say I prefer David Archuleta, I get accused of this: 'You only go for looks. Stop supporting him just because he's cute'.

What. The. Flying. Fuck.

And the people who have the audacity to say this to me are usually the same ones who say "Oh my God, David Cook is so hot."

Indirectly, they are also implying that Cook is ugly. Which is true. He has very nice features, but years of smirking has given him a distinct double chin. And his big head (literally and metaphorically) has made him a very unattractive person. But the eyes, I have to admit, are gorgeous. Cook is pretty good looking too, although not in a very conventional way like Archuleta's boyish charm, so why doesn't he get lambasted for being a looker?

So the basic idea in their deluded little heads is this: I'm so superficial and teenyboppish simply because they accuse me of picking Archuleta for looks, but it's completely okay for THEM to pick David Cook as he is a hot sex god.

This is hypocrisy at its finest. And don't even think about telling me that teenyboppish is not a word. I'm not in the mood to deal with the English language. Or even life in general.

Apart from that, what really pisses me off are the people who say Archuleta has no talent and only Cook deserves to win it. You think you can sing better than he can? If you say Jason Castro is a pretty boy with no talent, I get it. But Archuleta? HOW DARE YOU?!

Why are you discriminating against him just because he's cute? Some people act all holier-than-thou and say that we shouldn't vote for people just because they are cute. But on the flip side of the coin, should you deny their talent just because they are cute?

Is it now a crime to be cute? Isn't it enough to discriminate against women, homosexuals, black people and the disabled (or the more politically-correct but infinitely more stupid 'differently abled')? Now we have to discriminate against people who are cute too? I wish some of you could listen to yourselves. You think you're so modern and moving beyond a society that worships aesthetically-pleasing role models but the fact is, you are nothing but a lemming.

'Ooooh, oooh, Xing called me a lemming! I hate her. I'm going to insult her. Wait, what's a lemming?"

You think Cook is very talented because he sings the songs in his own style? Really? His OWN style? You have obviously not done your research. Oh, he's SO original!!! Really? Read this. So he just sings songs the way he hears them on a version he likes? Oh, THAT'S what you call talent. Isn't that what Archuleta does? Oh but when Cook does it, it's talent; when Archuleta does it, he's a wannabe. The only 'talent' involved here is Cook's ability to Google a band's unique version of a song and rip them off with a straight face.

No, wait... (*the clock ticks as your brain works overtime trying to come up with new ways to insult Archuleta*)... He's cute. Don't vote for cute people.

And Cook's whole rockstar act... I don't get it. Like Muaz said, "You don't need a leather jacket to be a rockstar". While I do think his rock thing is genuine, I don't think people should say things like, "It's about time a rocker won". It's not about the genre! It's about the talent!

And only the extremely delusional would use this as an excuse: Archuleta is too young. Stop living in denial on Planet La La Land. Have you heard of Miley Cyrus? The Jonas brothers? Macaulay Culkin? Britney Spears? Lindsay Lohan? Or even *gasp* Jordin Sparks? So what does age have to do with anything? If anything, he is as talented (if not more) than Cook despite being 8 years younger.

Then, some people from Camp Cook also claim that Archuleta has an unfair advantage over Cook because his father interfered a lot. Really? You want to talk about unfair advantage? How about the fact that David Cook has recorded several albums prior to this? Oh, right. That is talent.

You know, it wouldn't piss me off so much if you just said, I don't like Archuleta's face. Don't give crap excuses like him not being talented because that's not true. I never said Cook isn't talented, although I don't like him. He is definitely a talented musician but Archuleta is a better singer. And it is, after all, a singing competition. Archuleta most certainly does not deserve a lot of the flak he's been getting.

Sure, he might be a little boring and predictable, but throughout the season, he has been nothing but humble, respectful and nice. Cook, on the other hand, has been busy smirking at everything, being arrogant, strutting and at some points, even coming across as being rude.

I'm not asking people to hate Cook and love Archuleta, but at least be fair to Archuleta. If you don't like him, just say you don't like him. You don't need to give reasons to justify everything. Especially not if that reason is stupid to begin with.

I don't like Syesha Mercado, for no apparent reason. See? Was that so hard?

The Icing on the Cake

I expected turning 20 to be bad: soon, I'll have to start worrying about wrinkles, be tried in court as an adult, have to stand in line to vote and maybe even deal with people trying to matchmake me lest I become a spinster.

But this is a lot worse than I expected.

I celebrated with some friends on Saturday night and there are a lot of things I'd rather not remember. Suffice to say, Tasha and I will never look at each other the same way again. Or the Sunway Police Van, for that matter.

Then I went for dinner at Marché last night with my family. We thought we'd try something new instead of always going back to the same places. Big mistake.

The food was overpriced and terrible. I had a rib-eye steak that cost RM33++ and it came with black pepper sauce and some sad-looking vegetable. The steak was only about the size of my palm, not to mention dry and tasteless. Without the black pepper sauce, I would describe it as being inedible.

My mum's roast chicken was also tasteless and my brother's lamb chop was dry and shrunken. The sausage that my dad ordered was the only thing that was even close to being delicious. The bread and butter pudding was mediocre. The bowl of mushrooms was not too bad. As for the mushroom soup and bun, I can definitely say I've had better at a much lower price.

I also didn't like having to wait for the food because so many people were just standing around. It was hot and uncomfortable. I really hated it when they kept telling us "dah habis" every time we ordered something. Lamb shank - dah habis. Fresh coconut - dah habis. Chicken - dah habis. And it was about 7pm.

Then today, I had a day full of lectures: 3 hours of Technology and Accounting Processes, 2 hours of Company Law and 2 hours of Corporate Finance. I was so tired at the end of the day that I just needed to sleep.

But could even one thing go right?

No, of course not. It's the unwritten law of the universe that when I want something, I can expect never to get it.

A stupid mosquito kept attacking me and I think I got bitten about 7 times. I tried to kill it (not ALL living things deserve to live, so don't go all Buddha on me) but it sneakily flew beyond my reach. Fucking mosqie.

Then my mum bought a cake from Secret Recipe. When I made my wish and blew two big candles, the flame didn't go out. I'm not sure if it even flickered; I was THAT pathetic.

So yeah. Happy birthday to me indeed.

Normal People Do Not Use Dressing Rooms For This

It's nice to try on stuff I'd a) never wear in public or b) never be able to afford, just for the heck of it. So, despite being banned in 227 clothing stores across the country, here's a collection of pictures that can potentially result in a life of exile (to make up for the pictures of my 'natural helmet', as Tasha puts it):

Are you thinking innocent angel? The devil comes in many guises.

I want these shorts. *sad puppy face*

I'm not quite sure what to make of this.

Love the silky material. Love the motif. Hate the pregnant look.

Love this. Absolutely love this. Gorgeous corset-style satin top.

Okay, I bought this skirt so I guess it doesn't really count.

Tasha forced me to try this so she can laugh. At me. Call Teledera.

Even more fun when done in a group.

Had to crop Miss Fussypants out.

Maybe we shouldn't have changed in the same fitting room. And maybe I shouldn't have exclaimed, "So you don't want to have sex here?"

Disturbing Text Messages

Xingyi to Wills: (in assuring him that I won't try to get him drunk)
Haha, yeah, I tai lou. I jaga you. You will be safe under my wing, little dumpling.



Raj to Xingyi: (expressing his outrage that my other friend knows more about me than he does) *gasp* He knows more than me? I am so offended! You..you curang!



Xinghan to Xingyi: (after an argument about him stealing my prized scientific calculator)
I will run over cats when I drive. On purpose.



Xingyi to Raj: (in suggesting nicknames he might use to make me sound cuter)
What errands are more important than Dino's birthday? Dino? Spunkie? Spudnik?



Xingyi to Raj: (STILL suggesting nicknames he might use to make me sound cuter)
Soosix, Tasha said. But Dino is cute. How about Hamie? Xing Xing?



Xingyi to Muaz: (being bossy)
Hoi, call me. I want to talk.



Xingyi to Muaz: (being random)
You're stupid and I hate you. I'm really cold. I think I'm dying. You don't believe in answering your phone?



*tai lou - Chinese mob boss
*jaga - take care of (someone)
*curang - cheater (usually used in the context of relationships/marriage)

Emotional Support

Just to illustrate my current hairstyle situation:

Xing: *I can't remember what I said but it was undoubtedly logical, inspiring and wise beyond my years*

Tasha: Shut up, helmet.

Yes. She. Did.

She. Called. Me. Helmet.

At times like these, I just wish I could kill all the friends I have now and start over.

Hairstylist from Hell

Dear Hairstylist,

I went to you with a dream. A desire to look smashing with a great new haircut on my birthday. But alas! You are so cruel - too cruel - and you squashed every hopeful cell in my body with every snip of your evil instrument.

Perhaps you have been tortured as a child à la Josef Fritzl-style, which in turn has spurred your psychological need for malice. But pray tell why you have chosen me as your unsuspecting victim?

What have I ever done to you apart from walk in innocently (let's not forget, full of hope too) and trust you with my beloved hair? Did I burn your house down with your family in it? Because that's the only thing I could have done to deserve this.

How now shall I face my friends and family? How shall I ever walk out into the world with a spring in my step and a smile in my heart? How shall I walk among normal human beings with normal non-mushroomy hairstyles? Never again!

For henceforth, I am no longer the fairest of them all!!! I am merely a Japanese-boy-lookalike. I can hear the sounds of hearts breaking across the globe, for I am no longer the epitome of perfection. No, I am now the social equivalent of the offspring of Elmer Fudd and any Pokemon of your choice.

You have destroyed my life.

Yours lovingly,
Xingyi the Satisfied Customer.



Here is a photo as proof for you skeptics who thought I was being melodramatic:

Emo Nemo: Reminiscing about the good old days when people did not mistake me for a mushroom


I am Japanese school boy; hear me RAWR!

Scientific Facts

Muaz: Why do you even care?

Xing: I don't know.

Tasha: It's a fantasy, right? We all want to live that life.

Muaz: Well, we all want to go to the moon too. But you can't go there without a parachute.



Don't blame the guy. Fishery Science was an actual subject they taught in schools where he's from.

Split Second

You know how they say good guys finish last? And how girls always go for bad boys? I suppose some girls do have masochistic tendencies. It's like you see a wall but you can't help but hurl towards it at full force. Why?

Perhaps choosing a bad boy justifies the pain in the end, when you can say "Hah, I saw that coming and if I didn't pick a bad boy to begin with, this wouldn't have happened". If you picked a good boy, and it still happens, you struggle to hold on to your sanity and believe in something - anything.

That was rambling at its very moment of glory. It'll all make sense tomorrow when I get some proper sleep. My insomnia is back and I'm not happy about it.

And for the record, although you don't read my blog (and probably can't get past the first paragraphs even if you tried):

YOU ARE ONLY IN MY LIFE BECAUSE HE ISN'T.

Private and Confidential

Hey, my little Oompa-Loompas.

I have a blog entry coming up but as it is a rather controversial and conflicted entry, I shall do something new this time. The people who would like to read the aforementioned blog entry can e-mail me at nonamegurl@hotmail.com so I will be able to filter out the undesirables (just kidding, you know you're all oh-so-loved). Those who pass the 10-stage screening test will be sent an e-mail of my blog entry to the same address from which you've sent me the e-mail request (much like a mailing list, except it isn't).

Please put 'Your Majesty, I love you' as the subject matter, otherwise, it'll go straight to my trash can and all subsequent requests will be ignored with a pointed glare or a punch in the face every now and then.

Cheers.

American Idol Top 4

I was going to write about my prediction that Brooke White would be leaving this week, then I went to the American Idol official site to get some pictures and found out she did indeed get eliminated. But I thought we Malaysians get American Idol live via direct satellite?! We've been bamboozled.

So now this post is about the American Idol Top 4 and what I think (a.k.a. NOT what you think OR what you think I should think).

David 'Enchilada' Archuleta, 17


Favourite Quote: "You'll never be lonely if you learn to befriend yourself."

I'm going to let the quote slide simply because he's so endearing. Enchilada is extremely down-to-earth and comes across as both shy and lovable. He also has a sheepish way of saying things that enables him to get away with whatever it is he's saying. His deliciously husky singing is consistently among the best in the competition, usually hitting the right notes in the right keys.

Poor David has been the subject of criticism ranging from being controlled by his stage dad, being Mormon and being propelled to the top only because he appeals to teenage girls. While he does have a bit of the pretty boy thing going for him, his vocal prowess is undeniable. So why should his good looks and Mr-Nice-Guy personality overshadow the fact that he can in fact sing?

David Cook, 25


Favourite Quote: "Pain don't hurt".

Pain don't hurt? PAIN DON'T HURT?! Oh, I'm going to serve you some pain that would hurt, alright! Based on that alone, I'm going to give him a rating of negative one million. When you think about it, it doesn't even make sense. Okay, ignoring the attempt at being witty/poetically pathetic, David Cook is actually very talented. He knows how to manipulate songs to suit his style, and has managed to use this to his advantage by amplifying his individuality and creativity. Heck, he made a Neil Diamond song sound appealing to the current mainstream market. Gorgeous eyes too. Is there anything else this guy can't do?

Yes. There is. He is so arrogant that it almost takes away the charm in his music. Whenever I watch him smirk at the judges' compliments, all I can do is fantasize about kicking his face. And what the hell is up with the hair? If it's supposed to look edgy, it's not working. It makes his head look larger than life. And it's so unattractive when he puts on that face of cocky I-already-know-I'm-good-so-just-give-me-my-throne-already confidence because it makes his double chin completely visible. Don't strut before you make the cut, David Cook.

Jason Castro, 20

Favourite Quote: "In the end, it will all be OK. If it's not OK, then it's not the end!"

That quote is a complete cliche. Everyone uses it when they are in primary school and signing the back of yearbooks, trying to sound philosophical and/or smart. So disappointing, Jason, tsk tsk. Based on voice alone, Jason should be the next one out. His voice is not even close to being in the same league as the other contestants left. Although his voice is pleasant, it doesn't have a good range. His style is starting to get old and he doesn't know how to make songs suit him.

To keep him in another week, he might need to resort to a drastic publicity stunt, like cutting his trademark dreadlocks off and going for a new, fresh look.

There's no denying that the boy is charming. Easy-going with a positive outlook, it's easy to like him. But does that justify his stay in the competition over people who are infinitely more talented? Probably not. But don't under-estimate the power of tween and teenage girls with cell phones. Because they are the only ones who can save Jason from elimination.

Syesha Mercado, 21

Favourite Quote: "Be the change that you want to see in the world."

Syesha, Syesha. You know how sometimes you meet someone who's great in many ways, but you just can't seem to get along with them? You try and they try, but niente. No chemistry, no spark. And you resign yourself to the fact that you just don't like them very much. Syesha is one of those people. There is nothing wrong with her per se. She is pretty, she has a great voice, she's bubbly. But then, she also tries too hard. She tries to be funny, she tries to be cute, she tries to get you to like her. So it all just comes across as being desperate and insecure, which are not particularly likable traits. She is the complete opposite of Amanda Overmyer the rock/biker chick/nurse.

From the beginning, I didn't particularly like or hate Syesha. Neither did many people. And that is the problem. She's not particularly lovable, yet you can't find any reasons to hate her either. Which makes her boring. She is what we Malaysians call 'setakat cukup makan'. She had one good performance (the Andrew Lloyd-Webber week) and that's the only memorable one.

I hope Jason Castro gets eliminated, followed by Syesha Mercado. Then we get to see a David vs David finale. That would almost be TMTH. Now where's Danny Noriega?!