Ms Cheah (to the class): What would you do if you're going to get raped?
Loga: I'll tell him to faster rape and go; don't kill me!
Seriously, I did not make this up. I wouldn't be able to come up with comedy gems like this even if I tried.
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
And So, I'm Back On The Market
Xingyi says (11:12 PM):
What-lah.
I talk to you more than I talk to him.
Loga says (11:12 PM):
Lol, you secretly love me and want me.
Xingyi says (11:13 PM):
Yeah, I want you so much, I bought you from Sathen.
If you see his bank account, you'll notice he suddenly has RM0.20 extra.
Loga says (11:13 PM):
What the fuck.
Loga is leaving you.
I'm officially breaking up with you.
What-lah.
I talk to you more than I talk to him.
Loga says (11:12 PM):
Lol, you secretly love me and want me.
Xingyi says (11:13 PM):
Yeah, I want you so much, I bought you from Sathen.
If you see his bank account, you'll notice he suddenly has RM0.20 extra.
Loga says (11:13 PM):
What the fuck.
Loga is leaving you.
I'm officially breaking up with you.
Ode to Boredom (MORE Things You Never Wanted to Know)
Starting time:
6:32 PM.
Name:
Xingyi.
Sisters:
None.
Brothers:
Unfortunately.
Shoe Size:
Ladies' 7 or 8. Yeah yeah yeah, Bigfoot out in the open. Shut up.
Height:
165cm, according to my passport.
Where do you live:
Selangor.
Favourite drinks:
Cold water. And if I had to pick something else, probably milk tea or grape juice. I do not like carbonated drinks. Not because I'm some health-freak-rabbit-wannabe, but I just don't like carbonated drinks.
Favourite breakfast:
McMuffin. Yum.
Have you ever been on a plane?
Yeah. I love airports. Random, I know.
Swam in the ocean:
I love swimming in the ocean. I'll swim out as far as I dare to without freaking out, then head back to shore.
Fallen asleep at school:
I'll let Mr Chandra take this one.
Broken someone's heart:
I sometimes refer to it as my path of destruction.
What's under your bed:
Some books. More books. And then some other books.
Who do you really hate:
This guy in my primary school who murdered a hamster. Fucking ham-ham-killer.
What time:
6:36 PM.
Things I was doing 10 years ago:
Jumping over drains. Catching bugs. Making small kitchen utensils from tin foil for our Little People. Oh God, good times.
5 things on my to-do list today:
- Go to the bank.
- Go to the post office (waited for half an hour, what the hell).
- Buy Soon Seng his long-overdue present (OH MY GOD, TASHA, WE FORGOT. AGAIN. HE HATES US SO MUCH. No cakes for us anymore!).
- Ace Workplace Law test (this didn't exactly go according to plan).
- Update blog.
5 snacks I enjoy:
- Chocolate but not any with nuts.
- Twisties! The cheese one. Yum. I don't know why I never got the hang of potato chips. I eat them but I don't love them. Ruffles and Lays are a bit too salty for my liking. Maybe it'll be better with dips.
- Finger sandwiches.
- Hello Panda biscuits, especially the one with the blue packaging.
- Famous Amos cookies (but not the ready-packed ones you can get from Cold Storage).
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
- Kill the friends I have now and buy some new ones.
- Invest in myself, my looks, my health and general happiness - all the best skincare, make up, books, fragrances, properties, shoes, luxury holidays, etc.
- Give some to Comot (Raj's new nickname). Then, I'll make him buy me a puppy.
- Donate 20% to needy children and directly oversee the management of funds.
- Set up my own business.
5 of my bad habits:
- Going to bed in the wee hours of the morning.
- Nail-biting when I have a test or an exam the next day.
- Taking showers before I sleep, meaning about 2 or 3 AM.
- Losing and misplacing things. This happens about once every week.
- Hitting the 'snooze' button 15 times every morning.
5 places I have stayed a night in:
- Hong Kong.
- China.
- United States of America.
- Singapore.
- Thailand.
5 things I will do after complete what I'm busy with:
- Try to sleep.
- Get distracted by the television, phone, Internet or books (I'm still on Dostoevsky and Gaarder; I doubt I'll ever get through the damn books because I keep forgetting the story-lines and having to start over).
- Write a blog entry.
- Shower.
- Sleep. At 3 or 4 a.m.
5 persons I tag:
- Xingsan.
- Brandon.
- Wilson.
- Wei Loong.
- Comot.
6:32 PM.
Name:
Xingyi.
Sisters:
None.
Brothers:
Unfortunately.
Shoe Size:
Ladies' 7 or 8. Yeah yeah yeah, Bigfoot out in the open. Shut up.
Height:
165cm, according to my passport.
Where do you live:
Selangor.
Favourite drinks:
Cold water. And if I had to pick something else, probably milk tea or grape juice. I do not like carbonated drinks. Not because I'm some health-freak-rabbit-wannabe, but I just don't like carbonated drinks.
Favourite breakfast:
McMuffin. Yum.
Have you ever been on a plane?
Yeah. I love airports. Random, I know.
Swam in the ocean:
I love swimming in the ocean. I'll swim out as far as I dare to without freaking out, then head back to shore.
Fallen asleep at school:
I'll let Mr Chandra take this one.
Broken someone's heart:
I sometimes refer to it as my path of destruction.
What's under your bed:
Some books. More books. And then some other books.
Who do you really hate:
This guy in my primary school who murdered a hamster. Fucking ham-ham-killer.
What time:
6:36 PM.
Things I was doing 10 years ago:
Jumping over drains. Catching bugs. Making small kitchen utensils from tin foil for our Little People. Oh God, good times.
5 things on my to-do list today:
- Go to the bank.
- Go to the post office (waited for half an hour, what the hell).
- Buy Soon Seng his long-overdue present (OH MY GOD, TASHA, WE FORGOT. AGAIN. HE HATES US SO MUCH. No cakes for us anymore!).
- Ace Workplace Law test (this didn't exactly go according to plan).
- Update blog.
5 snacks I enjoy:
- Chocolate but not any with nuts.
- Twisties! The cheese one. Yum. I don't know why I never got the hang of potato chips. I eat them but I don't love them. Ruffles and Lays are a bit too salty for my liking. Maybe it'll be better with dips.
- Finger sandwiches.
- Hello Panda biscuits, especially the one with the blue packaging.
- Famous Amos cookies (but not the ready-packed ones you can get from Cold Storage).
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
- Kill the friends I have now and buy some new ones.
- Invest in myself, my looks, my health and general happiness - all the best skincare, make up, books, fragrances, properties, shoes, luxury holidays, etc.
- Give some to Comot (Raj's new nickname). Then, I'll make him buy me a puppy.
- Donate 20% to needy children and directly oversee the management of funds.
- Set up my own business.
5 of my bad habits:
- Going to bed in the wee hours of the morning.
- Nail-biting when I have a test or an exam the next day.
- Taking showers before I sleep, meaning about 2 or 3 AM.
- Losing and misplacing things. This happens about once every week.
- Hitting the 'snooze' button 15 times every morning.
5 places I have stayed a night in:
- Hong Kong.
- China.
- United States of America.
- Singapore.
- Thailand.
5 things I will do after complete what I'm busy with:
- Try to sleep.
- Get distracted by the television, phone, Internet or books (I'm still on Dostoevsky and Gaarder; I doubt I'll ever get through the damn books because I keep forgetting the story-lines and having to start over).
- Write a blog entry.
- Shower.
- Sleep. At 3 or 4 a.m.
5 persons I tag:
- Xingsan.
- Brandon.
- Wilson.
- Wei Loong.
- Comot.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Only Goodbye
The gift of my friendship thrown back in my face
I'm tired of running this long, one-man race
I tried to be patient but this is all I can take
The nightmare is over, I'm now wide awake.
I'm seeing the truth, unhearing your stories
Erasing the past, allowing no memories.
I've shared all your sorrow
Believed all your lies
But I've had enough, no more
We have no tomorrow
My sun will soon rise
My world would be as before.
I've given you all that I have to give
You can't take what's left behind
Remember, your life is yours to live
There's only play, no rewind.
You made your decisions
And I shed my tears
This time I won't forget
You chose your path
Of solitude
It's now too late for regret.
Each time I tear my wounds afresh
What awaits is only more pain
Being a good friend to a wall
Is life unto death in vain.
It hurts me so much to walk away
But it'd hurt me more to stay
Leaving you behind is all I can do
I've given up hope on you.
I'm tired of running this long, one-man race
I tried to be patient but this is all I can take
The nightmare is over, I'm now wide awake.
I'm seeing the truth, unhearing your stories
Erasing the past, allowing no memories.
I've shared all your sorrow
Believed all your lies
But I've had enough, no more
We have no tomorrow
My sun will soon rise
My world would be as before.
I've given you all that I have to give
You can't take what's left behind
Remember, your life is yours to live
There's only play, no rewind.
You made your decisions
And I shed my tears
This time I won't forget
You chose your path
Of solitude
It's now too late for regret.
Each time I tear my wounds afresh
What awaits is only more pain
Being a good friend to a wall
Is life unto death in vain.
It hurts me so much to walk away
But it'd hurt me more to stay
Leaving you behind is all I can do
I've given up hope on you.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Girl Gone Wild: Camwhoring
I know I haven't blogged lately but I've just been really tired. I found some old photos taken back in February. So here, have some laughs at my expense:
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The third photo is an experiment gone wrong. Rawr. It's actually kind of fun to pose like an idiot. I think I can understand why 'La La People' (as Tasha calls them) would go against acceptable social behaviour to fulfill their camwhoring needs.
I'll be back and blogging soon enough. Patience is a virtue.
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The third photo is an experiment gone wrong. Rawr. It's actually kind of fun to pose like an idiot. I think I can understand why 'La La People' (as Tasha calls them) would go against acceptable social behaviour to fulfill their camwhoring needs.
I'll be back and blogging soon enough. Patience is a virtue.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Things You Never Wanted to Know About Me #4
1. Your ex and you
- Nope.
2. Listening to
- 'Hot Buttered Popcorn' by Aphex Twin (Shearn, I hope you're happy; I'm hooked).
3. Maybe I should
- tone down the awesome (so others can feel better about themselves; I'm so considerate like that).
4. I love
- my family, friends and fans.
5. Chocolate
- is the closest I'll ever get to heaven.
6. I don't understand
- Mr Chandra.
7. I have lost my respect for
- the guy who invented Corporate Finance, though the use of the word "lost" is technically inaccurate as I had none to begin with.
8. I last ate
- only a spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Now THAT, people, is self control.
9. The meaning of my display name
- 'Xingyi' is pretty self-explanatory. So is my display message: 'I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy that it hurts'.
10. God
- knows what you people would do without me.
11. Someday
- motorcyclists everywhere will learn that they should stick to their own lanes if they don't want to be scraped off the highway.
12. I will always remember
- the explosions in the sky.
13. Love
- is disappointment waiting to happen.
14. I never ever want to lose
- my head (literally and metaphorically). Watching 'The Other Boleyn Girl' made me realize its importance.
15. My Facebook/MySpace
- is more popular than I am.
16. Tomorrow I will
- think about today as yesterday.
17. Simple kisses
- are never that simple.
18. I wish
- someone would finally invent a machine that helps you remove fats while you sleep. And after it's done sucking out your fats, the machine would use that as an alternative energy source to clean the house.
19. Is your hair wet?
- Yeah, a bit gross, really. I was just on the treadmill and am doing this to take a breather before I shower.
20. Is your cell phone right by you?
- Nope. Some friends complain that they don't see why I bother having a cell phone if I'm not going to answer it.
21. Do you miss someone?
- Not particularly.
22. Are you wearing shoes?
- Nope, though I bought the most awesome pair of shoes in the history of mankind. I'll try to get some pictures; just promise you won't die of jealousy.
23. Are you tired?
- Not really; I am a creature of the night.
24. Are you wearing pyjamas?
- Sorry, but I'm too cool for pyjamas.
25. Are you hungry?
- Starving =( What I wouldn't give to have chicken McNuggets right now. Or a chicken club salad.
26. Are you mad?
- Barking mad. Crazy. Loopy. Bajingledy dooshy. Pook. Chichy! I love making up words to scare people.
This ended abruptly, haha. How odd.
- Nope.
2. Listening to
- 'Hot Buttered Popcorn' by Aphex Twin (Shearn, I hope you're happy; I'm hooked).
3. Maybe I should
- tone down the awesome (so others can feel better about themselves; I'm so considerate like that).
4. I love
- my family, friends and fans.
5. Chocolate
- is the closest I'll ever get to heaven.
6. I don't understand
- Mr Chandra.
7. I have lost my respect for
- the guy who invented Corporate Finance, though the use of the word "lost" is technically inaccurate as I had none to begin with.
8. I last ate
- only a spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Now THAT, people, is self control.
9. The meaning of my display name
- 'Xingyi' is pretty self-explanatory. So is my display message: 'I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy that it hurts'.
10. God
- knows what you people would do without me.
11. Someday
- motorcyclists everywhere will learn that they should stick to their own lanes if they don't want to be scraped off the highway.
12. I will always remember
- the explosions in the sky.
13. Love
- is disappointment waiting to happen.
14. I never ever want to lose
- my head (literally and metaphorically). Watching 'The Other Boleyn Girl' made me realize its importance.
15. My Facebook/MySpace
- is more popular than I am.
16. Tomorrow I will
- think about today as yesterday.
17. Simple kisses
- are never that simple.
18. I wish
- someone would finally invent a machine that helps you remove fats while you sleep. And after it's done sucking out your fats, the machine would use that as an alternative energy source to clean the house.
19. Is your hair wet?
- Yeah, a bit gross, really. I was just on the treadmill and am doing this to take a breather before I shower.
20. Is your cell phone right by you?
- Nope. Some friends complain that they don't see why I bother having a cell phone if I'm not going to answer it.
21. Do you miss someone?
- Not particularly.
22. Are you wearing shoes?
- Nope, though I bought the most awesome pair of shoes in the history of mankind. I'll try to get some pictures; just promise you won't die of jealousy.
23. Are you tired?
- Not really; I am a creature of the night.
24. Are you wearing pyjamas?
- Sorry, but I'm too cool for pyjamas.
25. Are you hungry?
- Starving =( What I wouldn't give to have chicken McNuggets right now. Or a chicken club salad.
26. Are you mad?
- Barking mad. Crazy. Loopy. Bajingledy dooshy. Pook. Chichy! I love making up words to scare people.
This ended abruptly, haha. How odd.
I Have Some Competition
I was on the phone that night and had this highly unfortunate conversation:
Xing : Okay, I'll just marry Prince William then.
Ashwin: That makes two of us.
(*Xing laughs hysterically in the 30 seconds it takes for the implication to dawn on him)
Ashwin: Shut up, woman! That's not what I meant!
Oh, God. Gotta love my people.
P/S: If you notice, and disagree with, my constant reference to myself as the third party, you should realize that you're just not as special as I am and start calling me "Your Majesty".
Xing : Okay, I'll just marry Prince William then.
Ashwin: That makes two of us.
(*Xing laughs hysterically in the 30 seconds it takes for the implication to dawn on him)
Ashwin: Shut up, woman! That's not what I meant!
Oh, God. Gotta love my people.
P/S: If you notice, and disagree with, my constant reference to myself as the third party, you should realize that you're just not as special as I am and start calling me "Your Majesty".
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